Ruined

She was contaminated now, ruined, unwanted, or that’s what he wanted her to believe because in doing so, he could hide his sexuality. He shamed her into believing another would not want her when she confronted him with the news. Finding him with a man was no great surprise, she suspected it, saw the side glances at men, lingering gaze at teenage boys, and the hate he had for his mother.

The last 48 hours had been a blur and now she sits with new knowledge. The nurse was kind, the doctor informative, but she saw the judgment hidden behind those lids “she must have cheated on her husband” because married women didn’t get herpes. Three different prescriptions, and an asshole filled with antiviral creams, thankful that of all things, she wasn’t pregnant. 

I knew, I’ve always known, but something inside me thought he needed me, would cherish me for understanding his lifestyle, appetite, and loving him unconditionally. I thought I would be safe because he respected me, but here I sit, legs spread, knowing life as I enjoyed it, was about to change forever. 

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The Unnerved Traveler