My Dog Can Wear A Maxi Pad

Adventures of An American Born Trinidadian

There were drops of blood all over the gallery, on the steps and around the gate, who the hell was bleeding? Usually it was me, but today I was without my usual incidents of missing skin, boils and the endless bumps indicating another round with the mosquitoes that seem to enjoy my blood type. Sweet blood they call it, no matter what I did, or how much cockset I lit, they would not be deterred. 

Who knew Shadow Beni could have her period, and literally drip blood that required the use of a maxi pad which I quickly retrieved and saw fit to stick to her ass. I didn’t stop for one minute to think how she might have been embarrassed by everyone knowing, but I thought that was better than her dripping blood all over the yard. 

Nobody told me that when a female dog has a period she is in “heat” and every male dog within the neighborhood who could smell her business would show up in the yard yelping, howling and fighting in an attempt to mount my poor helpless Shadow who surely must be having cramps. Why hadn’t I seen this in America, we had dogs all over, how come I had not seen them dripping blood?

I guess this is what people meant by getting dogs fixed, but of course as with everything else, that was not explained either! So here I was trying to figure out why every dog within a 2 mile radius had gathered in my yard and my sweet dog was fighting me to get downstairs to join this fray! Well since I wasn’t letting her out, the noise continued. Day and night, one pack of mixed breed hounds was replaced with the next, some growling viciously and others howling, a nuisance and complete disruption of my sanity! Finally, as if worn out,  the crew did decide to rest, they laid in the sun, legs up advertising and refusing to move despite me throwing water and sour cherries down on them with vigor. And what was that thing hanging between their legs that seemed to come and go but resembled a popsicle? What the blasted hell was that! Who knew a male dog had a hidden penis? Another thing I was not told. 

So here I had Shadow Beni wearing a pad, a yard full of horny mixed breed rejects and I still had no idea that all of this was something of a sexual relationship with multiple men that would go very wrong if my dog was let outside! 

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Unnerved Traveler