That Kind of Nigger

I had never been called a nigger, never, and never by someone white, and here i was a 15 year old girl, who had never experienced racism, being called a nigger by a girl who I thought was my friend “Nyri you aren’t that kind of nigger”. Apparently there are two kinds, and I fell into the category deemed a “good nigger”. I was not welcomed in her home, but the yard was fine, and she thought it was ok to discuss the “other niggers” in my presence. I quickly learned my place and ended what wasn’t a friendship. In hindsight this could have been a teaching moment, but I wasn’t mature enough to address my concerns without further being offended. Knowing what I do now about racism, she was simply doing what she saw in her home and from the community that nurtured her growth. In a city where the Klan has rallies, and segregation is still the norm, how could I be anything but an example of a good nigger…. 

I didn’t know befriending a blond haired girl from Brooksville who was the first person to speak to me in a classroom in this strange new environment was not the acceptable thing to do, I didn’t know that I would be shunned by other black kids for this action and deemed “think she white, acting white” I was just speaking to who spoke to me, hell I had never really been around many white people, and even if I had, white people in the Caribbean and white people in California, were not the same white people I found in Brooksville! Florida Crackers, Rednecks, I had never heard these terms, but the next 3 years would be a hard lesson in race relations for me, one that would essentially help me navigate the negative attitudes that I would experience in other southern states, as an adult and active duty service member. 

Much love from the brown girl, sharing short stories for Blogtober! Keep writing, even if no one is reading ❤️

Nyri~The Unnerved