I Love You

Blogtober Short Story Entry #4

Many times I’ve said I love you, and I didn’t mean it. I wanted to tell you I didn’t love you, but I thought that might be rude. You were so fucking needy all the time, everything was about your feelings, emotions, fears, insecurities, abuse, where the fuck did me telling you I didn’t love you fit in? You see, I wanted me telling you I didn’t love you to finish the job that I couldn’t handle physically, and the act you were to much of a coward to complete. Suicide takes guts, it isn’t for the weak minded, yet they use it as a tool of terror, knowing full well we will never have the pleasure of seeing them buried.

I wanted your ego to explode, watch you self destruct in front of my very eyes, all the while providing you the comfort you deserved. I wanted to break your weakened spirit with my words as you so often broke mine with your accusations of my lustful nights with my cousin, yet that wouldn’t be nice. If only you knew that your assumptions were founded in truth, you were just wrong about who. I desired to kick you in the face, as I stood over you laughing, enjoying the small gasps of air as my booted foot covers your gaping mouth, but that is cruel.

Telling you I didn’t love you would have pleased you, secretly you already knew, but I could never give you the satisfaction of knowing my secrets, so as I did with everything else, I stayed silent, brooding, plotting, waiting for the day that I could finally discard you for the complete messsssss that you are. So I’ll wait, and tell you I love you………………..

Much love from the brown girl, exploring my dark side, sharing short stories for Blogtober! Keep writing, even if no one is reading ❤️

Nyri~The Unnerved Traveler

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