Why Am I The Unnerved Traveler

Tales From A Brown Girl, Traveling The World, Trying To Make Something Beautiful.

Hey guys, I’ve been gone for a bit, time to get back at it, so here is a quick introduction for all those who are new to following my blog, and a few tidbits for everyone. Lately many people have asked why I use the name Unnerved Traveler , because most of the content I post is related to enjoying travel through photography, education, food and music. Well, lets spend some time getting to know me, I’ll share some information about who I am and what makes me “Unnerved”.

The reality of my name is that on most days I experience periods of unease that are hidden from the untrained eye, and if we aren’t close you would have no idea. I live in a body that is in a constant state of anxiousness in environments that take me outside of my norm, I thrive in organization, routine, situations that I control, anything that deviates from the script “unnerves” me. Traveling is the only time that I am able to live life carelessly and in those moments, being unnerved usually becomes a memorable experience and a fascinating story full of horrid humor.

Fun Facts About The Unnerved Traveler

I am very shy, most people don’t believe this because I love to dance and I smile excessively while dancing and talking, that translates into “she is social and friendly”. Actually I am in a mental panic saying “please don’t walk over here and say shit, don’t ruin my song with some dry ass line of bullshit, yes I’m smiling, this is my chune, I’m not smiling at you, you simply fell into my line of sight” no “I’m not smiling at your boyfriend or husband, calm down, I’m smiling because you both are enjoying the vibes and I love seeing that on any day”. The thing about shy people is that nobody believes you are shy because we spend lots of energy perfecting that illusion of being social, it’s exhausting. And with being shy comes being a loner, yep I enjoy isolation for extended periods of time as well.

I don’t really like to show my full face in pictures, it’s usually a side profile shot and I’m looking away (I told you I am shy) yes I post selfies, that is me forcing myself to get over the fear, how they hell can I be a travel writer and people don’t know what I look like? How can I ask you to take a tour with my company if you think I’m running a catfish scam? My best shots are taken by others who secretly catch a moment, leave it up to Nyri, it’s a side profile shot every time!

I hate hearing the sound of my own voice, to me it sounds like a stranger which is why I hate to post videos. But I am working on it. I’ve been told I have the tone of a phone sex operator, so even if others enjoy that vibe, why the hell would I want to hear it from myself all damm day?

I struggle with being a perfectionist, in my mind my blog should look like Afar Magazine and any video I make should put you in the mind frame of Anthony Bourdain. I have years of travel content, pictures, stories, ideas, thoughts and I’m terrified to use them because they aren’t perfect. To be honest, what is perfection? Is it ever attained? No, so I’m about to start cleaning out the archives and posting, submitting stories to magazines, using all my pictures and writing up all of the mental trips I’ve taken. My daily reminder, I have to tell myself “baby steps Nyri, baby steps, growth, consistent daily progress”.

I always try to do the right thing even if it makes me unformfortable and I struggle with saying no. Saying no when you truly don’t want to do something is ok, I never thought it was. I felt like I was being a “bad person” when I did. I was so consumed with not being a “bad person” I didn’t realize that I was being a doormat for users and abusers. So if you don’t feel like going to that party, or eating that nasty ass food, DONT! You know what will happen? Not a damm thing and you wont feel bad while another person is unappreciating your good intentions. I spent three years in therapy working on this one, so if I say NO its NO!

I am always silent around people I don’t know, I am not being standoffish or “uppity” I am observing the scene, I am watching people, reading their actions, seeing who is married, lying about being together, trying to figure out who is full of shit, so when I do open my mouth I can do so with clarity and confidence. Yea I might miss something, but that’s cool I’m human.

I am a foodie, nothing comes between me and a good meal, and if you attempt to change that we will have problems and it probably wont work out in your favor. I’ve gotten into mild altercations over food in the past, I’m not ashamed to admit that.

If I could get away with wearing a sweat suit every day (this includes work) I would! I don’t like form fitting clothes, I am a t-shirt, jeans and converse kinda girl, flip flops while on the beach, it’s rare to catch me in a bathing suit, shorts or a dress, and if I have on heels, its a special occasion. Leggings are no longer form fitting clothes, I joined the yoga pants movement and embraced wearing leggings out in public this summer. If I wasn’t working out or doing actual yoga, I wasn’t wearing them, but they really are the perfect pants. You can thank all those insecure men who make you feel bad for the body you were blessed to be born with, because they can’t handle your beauty and love those who help you change that narrative. Wear what you love!

This might be the most important! Do not ever ask me to change my car music, I am a soca and reggae lover, if you cant vibe, you might not need to ride. If I decide to change it, cool, if not, I suggest you picture yourself on an island paradise and relax.

I love to smoke cigars, drink small amounts of wine and rum, curse and talk excessive amounts of shit! But if you ever have the pleaseure of visiting me at home, you also know I cook, clean and cater to my guests with the attentiveness of a 5 star resort. I will also provide you blankets and a bed to sleep if you are drunk or simply too tired to drive home.

I am most proud of, my 19 year old son! Being his mother has taught me more about myself and my strength that I knew was possible. He has taught me to look at my actions as a parent and face many things that were hard truths.

I am really funny, dry sarcasm is my art form. If we’ve never sat for hours arguing, reasoning, or just talking shit and laughing, we don’t vibe. These moments of intimacy dont happen via text, we gotta sit and chat for the magic to occur.

I love my friends different. Cooking is my love language, if I’ve ever cooked you a meal, mailed you a cake, or drove with food in my car, I love you.

I am most proud of myself for leaving a bad marriage, I was deeply ashamed my mirror of perfection that I had carefully orchestrated smashed across my face in full public view. I thought people were secretly laughing at me, I felt like a failure, lost, didn’t admit that I almost went back, justified the mistreatment, hid the shame of another person within my own, and carried heavy burdens. Leaving was worse than the marriage, people don’t realize that’s when bad relationships become dangerous, your life is at risk, protect yourself and seek help from those you love and trust.

Today we get to know the unnerved traveler, ask me a question, any question in the comments and I will answer! Thanks for reading, if you enjoy the content, like, comment, and share. As always you can find me on Facebook, and Instagram for daily shenanigans and every now and again Twitter. Much Love ❤️

Nyri…….

4 thoughts on “Why Am I The Unnerved Traveler”

    1. Thanks for reading. When I was in Egypt I had several moments of reflection that gave me the insight to know I was deeply unhappy. It was in those moments I knew my life would take a shift that would be very difficult, but that I would be ok in time. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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